


In the Name of Strategy

by CharmsDealer



Series: Female Vessel - Alt Season 4 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in Alternate Vessels, Castiel in a Female Vessel, Choice, Free Will, Gen, Jimmy has a sister, Original Characters - Freeform, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 10:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmsDealer/pseuds/CharmsDealer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A piece to explore how Castiel could have ended up choosing a female vessel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Name of Strategy

**Author's Note:**

> Castiel is a genderless 'they' entity in this, which was a little weird to write, but I hope it's alright to read! I started this a couple of years ago, but I finished it today.
> 
> With this piece I wanted to explore Castiel's first act of choice. Basically the moment Dean summons Castiel it starts a chain of events that lead to Castiel becoming a creature of free will.

Castiel was posted in Pontiac Illinois, awaiting orders. They had been granted the host’s reluctant permission to seek a vessel in order to deliver the Word to the Righteous Man. A vessel had not been part of the plan, at least, not at this point, but for some reason the Righteous Man had been unable to communicate with Castiel in their true form.

A lot had changed on Earth since Castiel had last visited. Two thousand years had passed much slower in heaven where the priority was maintaining stasis. It was different to see firsthand just how much humanity had expanded and grown.

Presently Castiel felt a tug at their grace, similar to the invocation of prayer but more tailored to them specifically. They acknowledged, feeling the particles of their being stir, but the sensation was not pressing. The words of the spell were not quite right for their intended purpose. Castiel doubted they would have noticed the gentle pull at all, had they not been listening.

The last word of the spell was said and the absence of sensation left Castiel feeling unfamiliarly hesitant. By all rights, there was no 'decision' to be made; Castiel’s orders were to wait. But Castiel was a strategist. They knew that ultimately the Righteous man’s faith was of grave import and every second of delay would be potentially detrimental to heaven's cause. They had not battled the circles of hell- seen their siblings _die_ in the hundreds to concede ground now.

Their uncompleted task had been pricking at Castiel incessantly- they had to obey, for what was an angel, if not an extension of heaven’s will? And heaven willed that the Righteous Man be enlisted in the battle to subdue the Morning Star before they ripped the world asunder. Their orders to wait were in conflict with the fact that Dean was attempting to reach out.

For weeks Castiel had been slowly gaining the confidence of James Novak. It was imperative to the mission that Dean Winchester view Castiel as being close to his equal, if not slightly superior, to him. Humans were biased about physical appearance and Castiel needed to be suitably imposing without presenting as a threat. As a white adult male not significantly less in stature to Dean Winchester, and of an appropriately similar age, James Novak was the perfect vessel for Castiel to inhabit.

Furthermore, James was a devout man and he had proven his faith to heaven. Castiel was certain that James would give permission to them, and become their vessel. However his family ties were proving problematic at present and his soul remained indecisive. If there was to be further progress, something would have to be done.

‘Castiel?’ Jimmy called. His emotions were turbulent, mixed with a fear that went beyond his apprehension of their joining.

Inside the house the lights in the kitchen flickered when Castiel spoke, ‘ _I am here_.’

James Novak slumped in relief at thier voice. It was gratifying, in a way, to be so adored, but Castiel was not prideful.  James was wearing thin and it had begun to show. “Castiel, you said to call if...”

“ _Yes_ ,” Castiel said, and smoke rose from the toaster as something inside it sparked. Jimmy turned toward it, mistakenly taking it for a sign of Castiel’s direction. In truth Castiel didn’t have a corporeal form, not on this plane.

“I just got a call from my sister...she’s in trouble. She’s taken a lot of pills...I - I don’t know what to do Castiel,” Jimmy was babbling now. “If you help her- if you save her, I’ll do _anything_. Please, I’ve proven my faith, I just need you to do this one thing.” His voice cracked.

Castiel shifted to attention. Finally, a chance had offered itself. Thank you, Father. “ _Tell me where she is._ ”

“Peoria,” James breathed. He rattled off an address. His knuckles were white were they gripped the cord of a phone, fingers twisted and trembling.

“ _I will return. Remember your promise, James._ ”

Castiel flies. When they reach the apartment of Melanie Novak, they feel the connection singing between them. It is strong, even more so than the pull Castiel feels towards James and they let it guide them.

Castiel locates the woman. She is draped across the couch, slumped in her unconsciousness. She’s swaddled in a large tan trench coat and her face is streaked where her makeup has run due to her tears. Castiel envelops her, probing for the flicker of her soul. It has not yet left.

Gently, Castiel teases the little light into revealing itself. They see into the woman’s subconscious, the well of black ink and the feeling of falling, spiraling down without end. If they had not seen the pits of hell they would be taken aback by the hopelessness of this place.

**_Melanie Novak._ **

From within the darkness, a voice becomes clearer. The inner turmoil of this woman churns, a relentless tangle of self loathing and deep, deep helplessness. Their voice sparks a fresh wave of defeat. _  
_

_…I don’t want to live like this anymore. Tell them I’m sorry. Tell them I tried-_

**_My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord._ **

_Oh God. I’ve done it. I’ve died- I’m dead. I’m actually dead. Oh please Lord, I know suicide is a sin, but if you would let me see him just once, just_ once, _I’ll go, and I’ll never ask you for anything again._

 ** _I have not come to shepherd your soul._** Castiel intones. ** _I am an angel, not a reaper. James Novak has sent me.  
_**

Castiel is thrown off-balance by the spurt of disbelief tinged with fear that follows. James had held only welcome for them, but Melanie is startled and wishes to draw away.

Castiel manipulates the vision, casts a shaft of light through the piercing blackness that smothers them.

_...A real angel?_

_I never did have Jimmy’s faith..._ the voice muses. _He was always a good man. I miss him. That’s why I had to say good-bye. I couldn’t just...leave, without an explanation._

**_He cares about you very much._ **

Castiel sifts through the woman’s memories. Her name is Melanie Rose Novak, Melrose to her twin, James Novak. They have not spoken for three years until this night, but she thinks about him often. She has been in and out of programs and grief counseling since the death of her husband, Derek. It’s Derek’s coat that she has wrapped around herself. It no longer carries his scent, but she clings to it for comfort.

The sharp feeling of loss that courses through them surprises Castiel, scattering their being. Unchecked, the terrible, _wrenching_ pain would consume them. They hurriedly stop the flow of the empathy link that is being established. It came so naturally, to sink into the mind of the woman, Melanie, that they were nearly swept away.

**_James has sent me to aid you. Will you accept?_ **

_I’m beyond help, angel. I will never be redeemed._

Melanie’s soul is fading, giving up hold of life, but Castiel needs permission to access heaven’s resources. Holding this woman from the brink of death does not fall under their list of given orders and they can only stretch their interpretation so far.

 Once again Castiel finds themself in conflict, but there is precious little time to come to a decision and something must be done.

This is all in the name of strategy, Castiel asserts against their misgivings. This is a slight deviation from the plan but ultimately their actions can be considered compliant with heaven’s main objective.

 ** _You can do God’s work, Melanie. You can be redeemed,_** Castiel sooths.

**_There is a great war coming. I have a role to play, but until I am able to walk the earthly plane I cannot act in my full capacity. My grace is tied to a single bloodline of which you and your brother James are part._ **

**_James has promised himself as my vessel. Together, we will serve heaven’s cause and fight against evil itself. His last wish is that you be saved._ **

_But what about Amelia and Claire? Jimmy has a family!_

**_Yes, he would have to leave his wife and child, but he would be carrying out his duty as a devout Christian. His sacrifice will be rewarded eternally in the Kingdom of the Lord. It’s for the greater good._ **

_…You said I was part of the bloodline._

**_That is true. You and I are also compatible, perhaps more so._ **

_Then the choice is clear. You must take me. Jimmy can’t leave his family. I wouldn’t put him through this pain._

**_Do you understand what you ask? You will not be able to retract your word._ **

_I understand._

_**Then** _ **, _do you accept God’s will?_**

_I do. Though I don’t know why God would want me. Not now._

**_You need only to say ‘yes’, and I promise you that I will ensure your brother’s safety and happiness._ **

_Then, my answer is yes. Yes Castiel._

“Yes,” Castiel speaks, and hears the throaty rasp of her own voice, tempered by her new vessel. She must seek Dean now, before this night is through.


End file.
